Breaking Santa’s Sleigh: A Christmas Short (Part 1)

“Attention everyone! I have an announcement to make.” Santa clause  commanded boldly as he walked into the  main floor of his workshop.

He was beaming with pride and his big belly was shaking with every step.  He was excited to announce what some of his best elves had been working on all year. It had been a top secret project. It was less than two weeks until Christmas and he was happy that they finished by the deadline. He was sure he’d bust his seams if he has to keep the secret in any longer.  Santa frowned as he realized the the elves were still working busily getting all of the toys prepared for the well behaved children

“I said I have an announcement !” he said again a little louder. He was growing impatient at still very busy elves humming Christmas Carols as they worked.

“ATTENTION!” Ronny roared. “Santa SAID has an announcement to make!”

Everyone stopped in their tracks . Toy stations were abandoned, cookies were dropped and milk was spilled.

They knew not to mess with Ronny.  He was Santa’s head Reindeer and had been with Santa the longest. Not to mention, he was the largest.

“Thank you Ronny.”

“Any time big guy. I mean er- Santa.”

“Now that I have you attention, I’m very pleased to announce what some of the elves have been working on all year .Follow me outside please.

“Finally!” they cheered in unison.

The hoard of elves and reindeer all followed Santa outside into the freshly fallen snow. The giant crimson curtain that no one dared looked behind was was about to be removed.

 Behold! This is the Sleigh Jet 3000.  It’s turbo powered and will deliver presents in half the time. ” Santa started.

A sea of “oohs and aahhs” rippled through the crowd.

” It can hold twice as many presents as a regular sleigh,” Santa continued

“That means more toys for all of the good little boys and girls!,”   an elf exclaimed.

“Yeah, more work for us  too, ”  Grimy, the head elf, grunted under his breath.

“I heard that Grimy.” Santa shot him a cold glance.”

“Sorry Santa. I’m SO excited to work twice as hard!” he replied sarcastically.

“Last but not least,” Santa continued ignoring Grimy, “It doesn’t require reindeer power. They’ll be no more long hard journeys – especially for old Ronny here, “Santa, motioned.

Ronny’s smile quickly faded. He couldn’t believe his ears.

Santa walked over to Ronny and patted him on the back. “You deserve this break, pal.”

Ronny flashed Santa Clause a smile.

“Everyone follow me. Grimy here will show you all how it works,” Santa stated.

Ronny didn’t know quite how to react to the news. Since everyone was preoccupied, he took his chance to slip out of the crowd. Ronny’s best friend, Greg, and fellow reindeer noticed that Ronny was gone and decided to follow him back inside of the workshop.

“Hey buddy! Why are you in here by yourself? Don’t you wanna celebrate with others?” Greg asked jovially.

“I’m not in the mood to celebrate.”

“Why not?”

“Don’t you understand what this means? We’re being demoted!” Ronny exclaimed

“Ahh, Ronny. Santa probably has new jobs for us.”

“You believe that if you wanna. But this time next year, we’ll be out of a job and a home.”

 “But, Ronny!” Greg cut in.

“No BUTS! I’m still the head reindeer – for now at least. Gather the others and I’ll meet you all in the shed. We need to have a meeting.”

Greg did as he was told, despite not understanding. They looked puzzled as they waited for Ronny to enter to shed

“Aye we’re missing the Celebration. What’s this all about?”  Teeny asked.

“Yeah! Couldn’t this wait until later?” Pepper chimed in .

 “What do we even have to talk about? We’re off the  hook for this year anyway.” Missy added.

 “That’s’ exactly why I’ve gathered all of you here. Ronny announced.”

Missy lowered her head, embarrassed her older brother heard her go against him.

“I know all of you are excited about Santa’s new sleigh and why wouldn’t you be? It’s huge. It’s shiny. It’s fast right?”

“Yeah!” they shouted.

“Well, You all haven’t been here as long  as I have. So I don’t expect you to understand what’s really going on here.”

“Ahh, Ronny what are you talking about?” Pepper asked

” Santa’s trying to phase us out! That’s what!” Ronny shouted

“Ronny you’re crazy.” Teeny exclaimed. Santa loves us -You more than anyone !”

“This isn’t about love. This is about efficiency. It’s all about business. Santa’s job is to deliver toys to the girls and boys. He’s going to do whatever to make it happen in the smoothest possible manner. Remember back a few years ago when the Elves were working on the Ipods? Santa didn’t think twice before he slowed  production of CD players. You see how that worked out for them , don’t you? CDs have replaced coal lumps for the bad children.

 “Hey Ron, You’re my brother and I love you, but you’re crazy. We’re not CDs okay. Greg, tell him he’s being ridiculous.” Missy stated flatly.

“Well now that I think about it , Greg began-.
“Oh great!” Missy exclaimed, “I should’ve asked someone with an actual opinion.”

“I do have opinions!”

“Oh please, you’d follow Ronny into a ditch if told you too.”

“Yeah, well at least I pull my own weight and don’t ride on the fact that I’m Ronny’s baby sister.”

“Ooh, If I had arms, I-” Missy began.

“Enough! Both of you! ” Ronny yelled

Greg and Missy stopped dead in their tracks too stunned to move.

“We don’t have time to argue! I need you all to help me break Santa’s sleigh.

Funeral Scene (Draft, Unfinished.) From My Novel, Falling Stars

Ava, 18, has to learn to cope with life after the death of her best friend, Alex.

This is a rough draft of the funeral scene for the novel I’m working on.

Ava sat in front of the church. Sadness had escaped her. Not even one tear flowed from her eyes. Death’s presence was thick in the air. She  felt as if she could reach out and feel it – and it was all that she could feel. It was a loathsome creature – barreling about through the world looking for someone to consume. Age wasn’t a factor and it didn’t check one’s income before striking. It cared not about justice or right and wrong. For there was undoubtedly a murderer somewhere on an island lying on the beach basking in the sun. All the while, her best friend lie there lifeless in that casket cold and alone. He was nothing short and Angel in the flesh and he was gone. It only cared about timing. At which point it could come in a suck the life out of someone. It came in many forms. In Alex’s case, it came as a little girl on a bike. Ava didn’t need to wonder had Alex been the target. It was the only logical conclusion she could come up with. Why else would an eleven year old girl be riding her bike at eleven P.M in the middle of the road. Death sought Alex out and it had achieved its goal. It didn’t think about the destruction it caused. Actually – it did ; it was fueled by it. The need to destroy families, to isolate people ,and to cause pain. It was too much for her to handle. She felt as is she was being strangled from the inside out. She tried her best clear her chest, but it was useless. It felt as if someone had gripped her around the throat and with each breath, it grew tighter and tighter.

Pastor Simmons approached the pulpit slowly. She cursed under her breath at the site of him. Seated just feet away, she could see his blood-shot eyes. He had undoubtedly been crying. Not unlike most people who knew him, Alex had made quite a bond with the Pastor. He volunteered every Thursday to plan activities for the Youth congregation and headed the food drive for homeless teens. He stood there a moment before speaking . His eyes scanned the room full of heavy hearts and wet faces. He stopped on Mrs. McArthur. Alex’s mom hadn’t looked up since she had been seated next to her husband. Her face was buried in her hands so deeply – as if Alex was going to manifest if she dug deep enough. Mr. Mc Arthur’s arm was around her shoulder to console her was in vain and his face showed every ounce of that truth.. He knew it was nothing that he could do. He continued to look around until his eyes landed on Ava. Ava sat completely expressionless. He looked intently for a moment before breaking contact. He looked as though he was expecting a different reaction.

“I know that we all would like to be here under different circumstances,” he began after clearing his throat, “ but…….

Ava began to trail off in her own thoughts. She couldn’t bare to listen to how great  of a person Alex was, or how he would be greatly missed. It would make it all too real to her. The only reason she was in attendance was because they had promised each other that no matter who died first, the other would be at the funeral. So, she never gave it much thought. Ava was 100% certain that she was gonna die first. She thought maybe, she’d overdose on antidepressants or walk unknowingly into traffic after on of her fits. She knew it was selfish, but it was the only way she could allow Alex to get close to her. She had to make herself believe that they would only be separated in death and that death would be hers. To even consider the opposite occurring, would be to accept that she could lose the main person she cared about. She forced herself to believe such a fallacy, because she needed someone to care about her. Being alone wasn’t as appealing as she would’ve like people to believe. Having Alex in her life, had been the only thing to bring her happiness. She wasn’t anxious around him. She didn’t feel like someone grateful to even occupy the same room as another person. She finally felt worthy of someones affection and he didn’t make her work for it. He didn’t label her as the crazy girl on medication who just happened to be a genius. He did think of her as some spoiled rich girl who wasn’t grateful for anything She didn’t have to be anything other than herself and he accepted her. He saw the good in her – a good that she sometimes questioned herself. But Alex never did.

“What am I gonna do now?” She thought as she sat silently in the front of the church. Alex was the guest of honor, but Ava could feel all eyes on her . She knew that everyone was expecting her to break down. She was expecting it herself. As Pastor Simmons spoke, she would glance out of the corner of her eye, and see someone staring at her through they’re tears. Apparently seeing the manic-depressive best friend was more appealing than mourning Alex. She could feel the eyes burning a hole in the back of her skull, and they didn’t wanna miss a minute of the show they knew she would put on. The presence of death in the room had numbed her to the pain. She wasn’t sad in that moment. She was suffocating – she was confused. She was lonely, but she couldn’t cry. Or maybe she was too sad to cry.

The thought began to enrage her . She seriously thought about giving them what they wanted in honor of Alex of course. They spent many nights joking about how everyone was waiting on Ava to snap even going so far as to putting makeup and white wig on her and pretend she had an alter ego one Sunday. The look on everyone’s faces provided them with a lot of laughs in the weeks following. Pastor Simmons went as far as to say a special prayer for Ava. He called her up to the front everything. Apparently the seminary school he attended had a crappy Psychology course. Because if he honestly believed, that embarrassing someone suffering from depression was gonna help them, he needed to take a few more classes. The memory of the going to the Party story and purchasing the emo makeup never failed to crack Ava up. So much to the point that before she knew it she almost burst out laughing in the middle of the church. She didn’t allow for it to come to fruition, however. She would not allow herself to feel joy in the absence of Alex. “D*#n you, Alex. Who am I supposed to make fun of these people with, if not you?”

Ava was startled as she felt a firm hand on her shoulder and as she turned she was face to face with Jack, Alex’s older brother. He was dressed in a black jeans and a black Blazer. He didn’t have enough time to get a proper suit, because he flew 500 miles to be here for the funeral. His face was as red and he looked as if the wind had been knocked out of him. He motioned for Ava to scoot over and she obliged. He said of nothing and just merely took her hand for a moment and gave it little squeeze. She looked over at the empty spot on the other side of his mother and wondered why he had left her to come sit with her. Jack and Ava probably spoke three times in the four years that she knew Alex. He was five years older and now lived in ( ) . When he was still home, he was so focused on his studies, he never hardly ever left his room . She looked up at him, but he made no eye contact. He just sat there silently. He didn’t move or cry. He just sat. A few moments later, the Pastor ( )

Ava silently excused herself and headed for the bathroom. She had suddenly become very aware of the temperature. The winter had been bitterly. and it obviously wasn’t ready to let go of its reign over ( ). It was almost the end of May and was only 50 degrees.

Free Writing : 12/15/14 (Describe a Wilting Flower’s Last Moments)

Prompt : Describe a Wilting Flower that’s aware of its Mortality 

I always wondered what the end would be like for me. I imagined it would be something like being drowned by pelting raindrops, or perhaps attacked by a ravenous animal. It would be a violent end. Quick. I looked up at the sky. It was a deep shade of blue. That blue that doesn’t happen often – those rare occasions when God decided to bless the heavens with extra pigment. It was one of those days. There wasn’t one cloud in the entire sky. The sun was beaming and it was blisteringly hot. The summer had been sweltering and not many of the others made it this far. I knew that my time was limited – two maybe three days at most. Although my life was on the line , the idea that such a marvelous entity could be responsible for my demise was kind of endearing. That thought, although brief, was the only thing to get me through.

2014: (My) Year in Review

2014 is nearly over. We have twenty-two days until we say goodbye to it forever. This year has probably been the most eye opening year I’ve had thus far. I imagine I will feel this way at the end of  next year as well. I’ve learned so much about myself this year, despite my environment. Situations caused me to really get to the root of my actions and my issues that I need to work/improve on. I’ve also learned a lot about people, both good and bad.

People and Relationships:

I like to think that I am a good judge of character. In my (non) professional opinion, I think that the socially awkward aspects of my personality have their upside. When you’re not dominating the conversation, you have a lot of time to observe and to analyze human behavior. I’m really good at that. I was verbally bullied in school and I think I started doing this as a defense mechanism to figure out if I was being talked about. I’m no psychologist, but I read a lot of psychology textbooks for fun. I have a deep love for the field and am entirely certain that this is where my heart lies (aside from writing.) The human mind is fascinating. People are fascinating. People are Awesome. People are Cruel.

Let’s talk about those cruel people. I’ve expressed on here before how I wanted a best friend. What person doesn’t? I wanted someone who I could pour my heart out to, have them mold it back together and hand it back to me. I wanted someone who’s intentions were similar to my own. Did I find this person? I didn’t find them. They found me.  When I stopped looking for this person, they entered my life.

What I FOUND was a leech. I put myself in a position to be used. It was entirely my fault because I ignored all of the warning signs.

Long story short: Don’t look for friends. Allow it to happen naturally because it’s more meaningful that way.

Another thing I learned this year, is that everyone you meet or is friendly isn’t meant to stay in your life. People will send you very clear messages if you pay attention. They sometimes are audible, but most of the times they aren’t. You have to look at their actions. You can’t judge an isolated event, however. But if they display unfavorable actions towards you and it begins to form a pattern, it’s probably time to take the hint. Some people are too “nice” to say what they actually feel.  It’s just the way it is. Don’t hold on to people who see you as a chore. There are many people out there who will value you and who you mean something to. Wait for them.

Goals : I’m Getting There, Slowly

I am impatient. I am anxious. I want what I want when I want it. Waiting sucks. All I can say is that my life has done a good job of curbing those traits of mine. I hear it chuckling every time I start to whine or complain. I’m in college and I’m developing my writing skills. I’m learning new skills to aid my future such as learning new languages. Starting 2015, I”m going to learn to code so I can build my own websites. I want to learn as much as I can, both inside and outside of class. I want to put myself in a position to where I will always be useful to someone.  I’m doing these things, but still feel like I’m not doing enough. I know that everything will pay off in the end. Sometimes, it just feels like it’s so far off.

My State of Mind:

It’s exhausting fighting off depression. It’s a never ending battle. I am proud to say, that I’m winning this fight. Anxiety, however is kicking my butt. Although, I’m more confident than I ever was in High School. I still get flustered around a lot of people. Little things/ tasks that most people don’t think about are difficult for me. It’s not the task, it’s the social interaction. Every one doesn’t experience anxiety in the same ways. Some people have attacks, where suddenly they panic and can’t breath. For me, It’s a constant fear of rejection. It’s a constant state of feeling overwhelmed. It’s planning your actions around not being caught in crowds or not being able to walk without something in your hand. It’s being VERY aware of peoples’ body language towards you. It’s being aware of your proximity to people. It’s always feeling jittery. I never ever can explain what it feels like in the right words, but I hope you understand what I meant.

I have no idea how to overcome my anxiety. I’ve prayed, I’ve talked to people. I just… I don’t know. I think I need therapy.

My Blog:

This blog has been a huge source of comfort to me. It’s easier to share things with strangers, sometimes more than family or even friends. It’s been the outlet that I needed and I’m so grateful for the support I’ve received thus far.  I feel like I can freely express myself on here without being judged. I wish I had started a blog years ago.

It’s been source of comfort/security for me.

I’ve had a lot of ups and downs this year, but I’m honestly happy to even still be alive. I still have a chance to learn, to grow, to love. I’m ready to say goodbye to 2014 and  Welcome everything 2015 has to offer.

Protecting Your Dreams

Dreams are wonderful things. They can be the motivation to keep pushing through even the most trying times. They can be be the catalyst to push someone from accepting a mediocre life into becoming successful. They are valuable. They are important. But, they are extremely fragile and must be protected.

I have a bad habit of telling everyone, friend or foe, about what I want to do in life. I enthusiastically pour my heart out in grave detail my plans for the future. Recently, I realized that you have to protect you dreams as if it were a vital organ. The reason being is that people are always waiting to knock you down and discourage you.

I’ve experienced numerous occasions where the second I completed my thoughts, I was bombarded with negativity. “Really, you think you’ll make it through eight or more years of college,” or “writing’s hard work. I’d think of another career.” “You don’t see alot of black women in science,” is just a sample of what I was met with.

It’s like they enjoyed tearing me down.

As of late, I keep my dreams and aspirations to myself. It does feel as if I can’t express myself without fear of being belittled but I think it’s an even trade. I’d rather be about to burst wide open with excitement than to release my goals and have them shot down almost instantaneously.

Free Writing Sample : From (9/1/14)

I had gotten into the habit of free-writing daily. Lately, I’ve slacked off bit, but I still do it occasionally.

I think I was excited for fall on this day. :)

“Hmm,” Karen said as she stepped off of her bottom step onto the wet morning grass, “Fall is in full effect .” It had been a long, hard summer and she was happy for the change. It was a crisp 54 degrees as the sun emerged from the East out of it’s peaceful slumber. She shivered slightly as a cool breeze enveloped her on all sides, though she didn’t mind. As she peered across her yard, she was met with the remains of her summer garden. Where vibrant roses had thrived only weeks before, now lay drooping vines and memories of what was.

Shades of red, orange and brown leaves were cascaded across her lawn. Her driveway was completely indistinguishable from the rest of the yard. She sighed at the thought of having to rake them up later. It would undoubtedly take a a couple of hours to gather and bag what must have been thousands of leaves. To be honest, if her neighbors didn’t complain about the untidiness, she’d probably let the leaves be until winter. After all, fallen leaves were the ultimate sign of an fall – her favorite time of year,

Keep Your Normal!

It’s happened. My procrastination has finally caught up to my blogging habits. When I first started I said I would update once a week. This gradually became twice a month, and now it’s been a full month since I’ve touched WordPress. Sigh. I’ll do better.

Anyway, I’ve been working on a lot of different writing projects while trying to stay sane being a 20 year old in this superficial world. I’ll Update on those later.For now, I’ll just leave you with my ramblings for today. Enjoy…..or you know Don’t. :)  (That was  a joke, BTW.) Heavy Sigh.

Personal Ramblings December 1, 2014

I’ve always wanted to be normal. Normal. It’s a nice little word that everyone uses to describe idealistic routine behavior. It is entirely based on the habits of the general population. Sleeping at night is considered normal behavior, while staying up all night would be considered abnormal. At the very least, it would be a deviation from the norm. Either way, one is generally accepted and the other would met with scrunched eyebrows and questions. “Do you work at night?” or “Do you have a newborn?” would be questions that followed because those would be the only logical reasons to stay up all night.

Once you’ve answered “no” to the first question and “God, NO!” to the second, they would nod their heads and reply “oh,okay” while silently judging you.

What I’ve learned is normal doesn’t exist and if it did I’d miss it by a long shot. Nothing in my life is normal. The dynamic between my family and I isn’t normal. My thought processes aren’t normal and I definitely am not normal as far as social interactions are concerned. I’m about as awkward as they come. But, that isn’t a bad thing, necessarily.

I went through a period where I just minimized my entire life. Because I didn’t grow up in a big house and have sleepovers with my friends, it wasn’t worth remembering. Because I didn’t have a traditional relationship with my siblings, I wanted to forget. Because I was bullied for half of my life, I felt it had no meaning. That is probably the worst thing I ever could’ve done. Good or bad, it was my life, my memories, my experiences, and my foundation. Everything I ever do in life will be built upon my childhood/teenage years. I can’t forget. That would be detrimental.

I don’t want to be normal anymore. I don’t want to be like anyone else. I want to become the best version of myself that I can. The path I’ll take in life won’t be like anyone else and I’m okay with that. My futures still being written, but the past I can’t do anything about. I can’t re- write it as if it were some book. I can’t go back and change anything that’s ever happened to me and that’s okay.